the one thing i have going for me is that everyone whos ever fumbled me even on a platonic level stays feeling like the biggest dumbest asshole on earth forever. because man cmon
shirt that says “i’m not high i just love saying insane sentences that don’t make sense”
coffeepee-deactivated20230511:
hold onto this for me
when susan sontag wrote “I must change my life so that I can live it, not wait for it”
He affects 5G towers like metal does a microwave
He walks into Chernobyl and parts the radiation like Moses did the Red Sea
i hope shein gets shut down i hope ai projects get shut down i hope billionaires go bankrupt i hope public transportation expands fast i am so tired of the world’s bs
bro, the me inside your head is kind to you, right? haha? 🤨
bro, you wouldn’t use my memory to represent your own self-doubt and loathing… right bro?
dmv: can i have you birth certificate
me: i dont have it but you can trust! πβοΈ
dmv: ok! πβοΈhere is your license
me: its so small and cute! π³
dmv: just like you! βΊοΈ
canβt get an algorithm like this on twitter
i have what I call the “This is my first time on earth” stare
EXTREMELY rare w from the uk media
Defamation lawsuits in UK are heavily weighted in *favor* of the plaintiff. You have to have a pretty weak case to lose over there. If there wasnβt a rabbid, inescapable social media campaign against Amber Heard, he would have lost in America too.
george and elaine were the original haters. kramer was not a hater he was a pioneer - some people will try to tell you jerry was also a hater but they’re wrong. jerry was a poser. he was a hater in private, which is the worst kind of hater - no backbone. he would nod understandingly at george and elaine’s woes but he would secretly be hating on their hate. too much shame in his game. elaine and george would hate publicly, with their whole chests, ESPECIALLY on each other, that’s how you know it was real